A Man's Top 5 Needs In A Relationship
I performed an internet search on the top 5 needs for men and top 5 needs for women. For women, on average, the top 5 needs are:
- Financial support, and
- Family commitment.
For men, on average, the top 5 needs are:
- Sexual fulfillment,
- Recreational companionship,
- An attractive spouse/mate,
- Domestic support, and
Now, what’s the first thing you notice?
The first thing I notice is how different these lists are. THEY ARE NOT SIMILAR AT ALL!!!! It is so very importation for you to know this, as you position yourself for your future mate. In a nutshell, what a man is seeking in a mate, may be very different than what you’re seeking. Therefore, you need to grow your understanding that it’s not simply about what you want and getting your needs met, but it’s also about meeting the needs of your future mate as well.
So let’s go through these one by one, starting with the top 5 needs for men:
The first one is sexual fulfillment. I highly encourage you to seek professional help if you have issues in this area from being inappropriately touched, molested, or raped, or if you grew up believing that sex is “dirty”. Take this seriously and seek counseling and do whatever you have to do to get healed in this area because when you have your husband, you want to make sure that you’re able to come through in this area. This is NUMBER ONE on their needs list.
Next is recreational companionship. Men really dig it if you can hang with them during the recreational activities they enjoy. For example, go fishing with them or watch a sporting event with them. Although this really gets you brownie points, it’s definitely not a deal-breaker, and it can be tricky because you can come across like “one of the boys” and put yourself in the “friend zone”. But all in all, remembering that it’s not only about your needs, step outside of your comfort zone and try to jump into something he’s really interested in, even if you only do it once in awhile. A few tips:
- Google the rules for the sport your man is interested in and try to gain a little knowledge on the subject and engage him every now and then watching a game or two with him.
- If he likes motorcycling riding, try to go out with him at least once.
- Overall, just simply TRY something he likes and step outside of your comfort zone and try to meet him there.
The 3rd need for men is an attractive spouse. Let me start off by saying, you do not have to be thin to be considered attractive to a man. Men love women in all shapes and sizes, all hair types, hair lengths, all physical heights…men love them all. Every man is not going to love every attribute, but that’s the same with you too. I’m sure you have your preferences. Nevertheless, just know that whatever you look like, there are men out there who will appreciate you, as is. Even still, I encourage you to work on being as attractive as you can, all within the realm of what’s possible FOR YOU. Everyone is not going to look like Kim Kardashian or Beyonce, but there is a level of beauty that belongs specifically to you, just work on maximizing what’s possible for you. No man wants to see a ponytail every single day, so try to do your hair once in awhile. Also, I know how comfortable jeans can be, but try to spruce it up every now and then, and wear something that accentuates your femininity. It’s your feminine energy, your feminine appearance, and your feminine handling of the man that really drives him wild (in a good way). Final note on this, if you don’t currently exercise on a regular basis, try to start, even if you’re only walking 15-20 min a day because if you’re exercising on a regular basis, it’s going to help you with the top three needs on this list. It’ll help you with your stamina and energy level with sexual fulfillment and in the recreational companionship area so you can keep up with him. Also, with the attractive factor, exercising will help maximize how you feel; it will help you to feel energized and feel great, which will cause you to ooze beauty because of how good you feel.
Number four on this list is domestic support. I looked at several surveys and here’s a direct quote from one of the surveys: “most men like domestic chores, like cooking and cleaning done for them”. Hey, those are not my words, lol. Those words came directly from the survey. Ladies, if you don’t know how to cook, try to at least master ONE THING. Get a recipe book and choose one thing to master. Keep trying that recipe over and over again until you can do it well. This doesn’t have to be anything complicated; it can be as simple as spaghetti or anything. Your future husband will be happy to know that at least once a week, he’s going to get that home-cooked spaghetti, or whatever it is you decided to master. If you don’t ever clean anything around the house, try to work on improvement in that area. Chances are, he grew up in a home with a mother that was cleaning house, so it can be an important factor for him that you’re doing some of that. Now, in these modern day times, most people share household chores, so it doesn’t have to all fall on you. You can certainly share these responsibilities but make sure you are indeed doing SOMETHING. For most guys I talk to, this isn’t exactly a deal-breaker, but it can cause some major tension in the relationship.
The 5th thing on a man’s needs list is adoration (or admiration). A lot of women don’t want to feed a man’s ego and think they should just get over themselves, but this is a real need for men. The survey states “men want their wives to be proud of them, so when you tell your husband he’s wonderful, it motivates him to achieve more”. If you can master fulfilling this need for a man, it actually becomes a win-win for us ladies because it generates a positive feedback loop that’s ongoing. In other words, if you make him feel needed and desired, it motivates him to do more and achieve more to please you, which results in you admiring him even more, and the loop is ongoing. It’s like a circle that really benefits us ladies in the end, and everybody’s happy. He’s happy and you’re happy.
Hopefully you gained a few tips, or at least some food for thought. Let me know what you think.